


New Beginnings in Spring

by AliceMercy2016 (orphan_account)



Series: Change of seasons [1]
Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: A little bit of angst, Fluff, Heavy Petting, M/M, Simultaneous Orgasm, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 23:01:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12178194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/AliceMercy2016
Summary: Baz finally agreed to talk to Simon’s doctor. Both boys have a lot of things they still need to figure out and Simon decides that giving in to his feelings for Baz is one of these…





	New Beginnings in Spring

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one-shot that goes with my multi-chapter story "Carry On Phenomenon". I might write more shorts like these. This is when smut is taking over my writing... ^_^ Enjoy!  
> Also, all praise for these characters go to Rainbow Rowell ;)  
> I was listening to Foster the People - Nevermind while I was writing this.

**Baz**

“There you go.” Simon is handing me his laptop. “I will go to the grocery store get some stuff. You’ll have all the time you need.” He gives me a soft kiss and is out of the room, leaving me with his laptop, his skype account open and awaiting the call of his therapist any time. I agreed to this after the fight we had two weeks ago, but I still feel weird about it. I have never talked to a therapist and my upbringing taught me that you don’t talk about things like your emotions, doubts and fears, not even with your family.

The call icon appears and I panic and almost drop the laptop altogether, so I walk over to Simon’s desk and put it there, sitting down in front of it.

I accept the call and a video window appears on the screen. A woman, maybe in her 40s with curly black hair, olive skin and glasses is sitting in a doctor’s office across the ocean.

“Good afternoon Mr. Grimm-Pitch.”

“Good afternoon Doctor Nazari.” I reply.

“It’s nice finally meeting you.”

“Nice meeting you too.” I feel nervous, like she could look inside my head and see things I don’t want anybody to see ever. That’s her job, isn’t it?

We are both silent for a few seconds, then I can’t help myself anymore.

“So, what do you want to start with doctor? My undead condition? My aggressive behavior? My messed-up childhood?”

“Actually no. I just wanted to talk to you about Simon. I wanted to tell you the same things I already told your friend Penelope. But do you want to talk about these things with me?” She looks at me, very calm and collected and the way she says this is rather casually. No pressure, no ridicule, no nothing.

I am flummoxed. As much as I would like to make fun of this idea I feel that she might be right, that I do want to talk about these things, though I have no idea how.

“Maybe we start with what you wanted to talk about.” I say.

“Good. So, how is living with Simon for you?”

“Well, I am not actually living with him.”

“I see. So, how is being with Simon?”

And I want to say “ _Fine”_ , but something in her voice makes me take out my carefully guarded thoughts and feelings. It does not feel like things I wanted to hide are pulled out into the daylight. It is more the feeling that things need to get out, that I want them to get out.

“He is so fragile.” I say “And so clingy. And any minute I am not around him I secretly worry about him.”

“Do you worry about him right now?”

“Yes! And I know it is ridiculous. But I am constantly worried, about a lot of things.”

“About what?”

“I am worried about Simon falling back to the state that he was in right after Christmas. About him not eating enough, not getting out of bed in the morning. I am worried that he might change his mind about all this.”

“About your relationship?”

I hesitate for a second “Maybe.” I admit.

“Simon has been through a rough time, he is still going through it. Right now, he needs people around him and you and Penny most of all. You are living with a trauma victim. That’s not easy for you either. And it does not mean that you are now fully responsible for his wellbeing.”

“It feels like I am.”

“You are an important resource for Simon. He can be glad having you and I know for a fact he is. But you must watch out for yourself, too. There is a risk that caring and worrying for Simon all the time will drain you.”

This is just what it felt like for the last few months, before our big fight. We talk about this for a while. About how I feel the need to talk about my problems too and there are a lot of them right now. My troubles keeping up with my courses, my family still not approving my sexual orientation and especially not my boyfriend, the general feeling of exhaustion and the looming fear of losing Simon (a fear that is still deep after the events at the White Chapel where I could have lost him for good).

I have not realized how much time has passed when I hear that someone is unlocking the apartment door. I look at the time. We have been talking for a bit more than an hour.

“So, I guess Simon is back.”  
“Would you like to finish for today?” doctor Nazari asks.  
“Yes.” I say, though I feel there are still so many things that I need to talk about.  
“Should we schedule a talk for next week the same time?”  
And though my first though is that it’s weird talking to a therapist, I feel incredibly relieved so I answer truthfully: “I'd be glad to.”

Simon is unpacking two huge bags of groceries he had put on the kitchen table when I walk into the living room.  
“Hey!” he says. He is wearing only yeans (which fit perfectly, since I am taking care of Simon’s wardrobe) and a plain white T-Shirt, though it is still a bit cold outside, but I enjoy that I can see the freckles on his arms as he stretches to store peanut butter in the kitchen shelf. Penny and I have figured out a spell that makes his wings and tail incorporeal, which is convenient, because now he does not constantly knock over things.  
“Hey!” I reply and move closer to gently bring my hands to rest on his shoulders.  
He turns his head around “How did it go?” and then adds in a short rush of panic: “Wait! I am sorry. You don’t have to tell me - of course. Only if you’re okay with it.” He continues putting away the groceries.  
“It was okay.”  
“Really?”  
“Yes. We did not really finish though, so made another appointment for next week.”  
He hugs me and almost squishes a pack of toast between us.  
“I am glad you are talking to her.” He says as he lets go off me again.  
“I promised that I would.”  
“Yes, but I am still glad. I know that this is not easy for you.”  
“It was fine. I did not expect this, but I think it went well.”  
Simon just smiles and then frowns at the toast, but puts it in the shelf regardless.

We take care of the groceries together and when Penny comes home we have already prepared dinner. She just drops her huge bag at the entrance, kicks of her shoes and settles on the couch with us for dinner and an episode of Teen Wolf.

“Are you staying over for the night?” she asks me. And I think I hear a certain undertone here.  
I look at Simon, who is cuddled between us on the couch and he is giving me dog eyes, so I reply: “I am planning to. Why?”  
“Just wondering.” Penny gives us one of the looks that are reserved for irritating couples. It’s easy to judge others though, if your partner is living on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean and people hardly see you cuddle or snog.

Penny is heading to the bathroom first, because she has a class tomorrow morning. Simon and I do the dishes and then get ready for bed. When I come from the bathroom Simon is sitting on his bed, waiting for me. He is looking so fragile and lost again but this time I remind myself, that over care is not good for either of us. So, I smile at him and sit down next to him.  
He smiles back saying: “You seem to be in a good mood today.”  
“I guess I am.”

**Simon**

“How come?” I ask Baz. He looks much better than he did during the last weeks. I did not realize it first, but he must have felt terrible lately. But tonight, is the first time in a while that he seemed relaxed and that he smiles at me like that. It feels nice, lovely actually. Everything about him feels lovely right now.

“I just had a really good day I guess.”

“Did you?” I say and touch his cheek a little while I move some of his hair back behind his ear (he is wearing it open now, since I’ve told him I like it better this way). I want to touch him more. We are still a bit careful with that. For a long time, I did not feel like being touched at all (except for holding hands, Baz was like a lifeline for me). I felt somehow unworthy of affection. Not ready to give or receive any of that. But for a while things are getting better. Baz and I are snogging a lot and when he is staying over we spoon each other, which used to be really complicated with my wings but since Penny and Baz found that new spell it’s my favorite way to fall asleep.

“Yes.” Baz replies, but I almost forgot that I asked him a question already. I want to touch him. I want to burry my face in his hair and take a deep breath. I want to run my fingers all over his back. I want him to hold me tight. I want to touch him. I bite my lip and look into his deep grey eyes. He is looking right back at me and it feels like a pull (Is this a vampire thing? Probably not. It’s just one of these things being close to Baz does with me). I lean forward, closing the gap and suddenly find my hands on his waist. We melt into a deep kiss and suddenly he is under me and I am on top of him and we are sinking into the blanket and the mattress underneath us. I am kissing his neck and across his jawline, running my fingers over his pajama shirt, carefully slipping underneath. His stomach is room temperature. He hisses when I let my fingers wander on his bare skin (it’s incredibly soft).

“You too seem to be in a good mood today.” He chuckles.

“I just happen to find you incredibly sexy.” I reply and position my legs left and right of his hip.

“Because I am talking to a therapist?” Of course, Baz is trying to kill the mood. Any time he does this I wonder, if it is because he worries that I am not ready to go further (which usually is true) or if he might be nervous as well. I know that this is all new territory to him too. But I will not let him kill the mood right now.

“I think it’s sexy that you are doing this for me. It makes me trust you and trusting you feels damn sexy.” I admit.

He looks a bit surprised but then smiles and wraps his arms around me, pulling me close and into a kiss. Gosh, everything feels sexy right now. Tugging at Baz’s hair, him whispering in my ear how good I smell and how amazing I feel and Merlin, I am getting hard right now and I can tell his is too, because there are just two thin layers of fabric between us. Us making out has never been this intense. I need to take a break and gasp for air.

“Are you okay?” Baz looks at me worried.

“Absolutely.” That’s what Baz always says. Dating him is definitely expanding my vocabulary.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Can we – uhm - just go on like this?”

And he smiles at me and tilts his hip in a way that makes me gasp, but in a different way than before. Our hips are grinding and it feels so good, so warm, so alive. I want to melt into Baz right now, as I softly bite his neck and smell his hair. He is breathing heavily underneath me. His hands are cupping my butt. The friction between us is getting more intense. I bite my bottom lip to suppress a moan. My head is filled with stars and the scent of cedar and bergamot and before I even realize what is happening I come right into my pajama pants. We are both dripping with sweat and panting. I feel a bit awkward, but also incredibly good and tried and all at once. I want to cuddle onto Baz shoulder but I am a bit hesitant because of the wet spot in my pants. I don’t want him to think I am gross.  
“Did you come?” He asks me between two gasps. I nod. And then I realize something. His erection is gone as well.

“You too?” I ask and my voice sounds terribly shy, but I feel a strong pull in my stomach. Baz just came. Underneath me. Because of me. This though feels incredibly good.  
He just smiles at me and gently pulls me down to his shoulder. I lay down and smell his scent, hear his heartbeat and his breath getting slower again while I am still trying to grasp what just happened. We achieved orgasm, together, in my bed and Merlin and Morgana it felt amazing. Still does.

“That was stunning.” Baz says into my curls after a while.  
“It was.”  
“I have been dreaming about this, but I had no idea it would be so magnificent.”  
I turn so I can see his face.  
“I feel really safe with you Baz.” I just want him to know all the sudden “I’ve never felt safer around anybody else before and all even though you’ve tried to kill me for like four times.”  
“Three times. I told you the stairs were an accident.” He replies.  
“Anyhow. You make me feel safe and self-assured. It’s like you are looking into my very soul and I am not even scared the slightest bit. I want to share this with you. I want to know you and I want you to know me. I want all of this with you.”  
“Me too, Snow, me too. But let’s take it slow.”  
“You’ve called me Simon before.”  
“No, I didn’t.”

I hit him with my pillow and we kiss and cuddle and Baz spells us clean, but after enjoying the comfort of his arms a few more minutes I get up and go to the bathroom anyways.

I look at myself in the mirror. Do I look different? My cheeks are still red and there is this smile on my face that just doesn’t seem to go away. Tonight, felt amazing and I am so ready for more. I sneak back into my room and crawl underneath the blanket, next to Baz, who is already sleeping. He has changed into one of my t-shirts and a pair of my pajama pants (which always looks a bit funny, because they are too short for him.) I might ask him to bring a second pair for the next time. Next time. That thought sends a warm shiver down my back. I burry my face in his hair and take another deep breath before I fall asleep too.


End file.
